Hotelier told us this afternoon it’s going to rain,
There will be traffic jams in Rome again,
This reminds me to put oil into my old-camera zoom
Which makes from photos rid of the gloom
Before visiting Rome’s many bald ancient domes.
But underneath the baldness Roman history blooms
To get rid of the rainy day’s fears and tears
I went out and bought an umbrella from a hawker
Who said, “I’m also an Indian good-fortune teller,
This umbrella will keep you cool that is better than a car”
But with the umbrella I could not go far,
Rain was passing through the umbrella was not waterproof.
While I was walking under the dark, rainy sky
By mistake I went into a shameless ladies striptease bar.
Doorman said, “Do you like girls in bar or in the car?”
I said, “With this umbrella I cannot go far.”
He said, “This is not an umbrella shop,
If you like, our girl goes on your top.”
I said, “Can I stay here until the rain stops?”
Man said, “Without money, don’t try to be funny,
Get out or your little thing will be chopped.”
Thanks to heaven, next morning it was sunny.
I went out to find the street-seller and get my money.
After looking for a while I found him.
He was now selling bubble-guns at the corner of the gym.
He immediately recognised me and said,
“Today there’s no rain; why not buy a bubble-gun?
It will make you feel much younger
People have not much interest for middle-aged man,
But when you have the gun you and everyone gets fun.”
I said, “This umbrella is not watertight,
Rain is getting through at all sides.”
Man said, “This umbrella only for sun and fun.
Why didn’t you ask me for a waterproof umbrella?
We’ve got everything, would you like a massage from Annabella?”
I said, “Don’t talk rubbish, I am here as a historical tourist.
By the new European law, you cannot cheat or tease.
I don’t need Annabella I want a waterproof umbrella!
You little Indian umbrella-crook!
Don’t try me hook on Annabella’s sexy looks.”
He said, “I’m sure you can manage things with this sex book
By the way, there is no rain for the next ten days,
By that time you will have gone away.
Why do you like arguing with innocent people everyday?”
Well even if the heavens back the street cheat,
What else would a sensible man say?
I will keep the umbrella for the sake of a sunny day,
Which will keep everyone happy in a strange way.