The Doctor said, the best thing is forever to wait
In your own home, not in front of the hospital gate.
Trying to get in with a little pain is in vain.
Mr Maine if you don’t have a killing pain,
Emergency surgery you will never gain.
Even if you came in with an emergency ambulance
For a quick operation, you have no chance.
Besides you don’t understand NHS finance
Plus your hernia is less than ten ounces
Which is affecting my mental balance.
Even riding in a brand new ambulance that is free,
The charming and harming nurse may get rid of you in hurry
You cannot ask from nurse a confidential degree
Can’t you see a wide gap between you and me?
Why not try to understand, surgeon’s special mentality?
We are still saving lovely nurses for future-humanity
Don’t get me wrong; this is only an emergency song
Still the penalty for you could be heavy and last long
Nevertheless, you should go home and wait and wait.
Until your natural pains kill your wrong fate,
Then we will serve you at a reasonable rate,
Which means neither in emergency nor within a normal date.
But you have to wait a long time in front of hell’s gate
What is your hurry: go home, watch East Enders, be merry
If you die and go to the sky that we shouldn’t’t miss
Still you may get lucky with an angel’s kiss
Which may help your tricks for an emergency service!
So you must make sure first get a lot of pain,
Then we may put you on our waiting-list chain.
Which will make you never use fast service again,
This is a good lesson for you; taboo is taboo.
Don’t expect from every African doctor a voodoo
I know manner of saying how do you do
But, you came out of the blue, who are you?
You should tell everything to my lovely nurse moo
Her white-witch mother might treat you with black voodoo
I hope you do fully understand my good advice,
Which will make you normal and make you ten grams wise.
Then, I may tell you if you like some healthy lies.
There is a great saying: without severe, endless pain
An NHS operation you will never gain.
As we see, everything is clear as polluted sea.
How did you like the gentle, mental rules of me?
So wait until you get plenty of hernia pain,
Then for better or worse use your own brain
After sixty do you need that sexual thing again?
Here for you an older persons’ lollipop without pain.
You already something gained, thank goodness for my brain
Therefore, you don’t need to become insane again.